i had a very deep conversation with my closest friend tonight, she made a very astute observation, "mother's have to say goodbye to their children several times in the course of their lives." Some of these times are happy goodbyes; a marriage, graduation, first day of school, some can be bittersweet; going off to college, relocating, driving alone for the first time. And some just suck a death, divorce, miscarriage, estrangement - you get the picture. But even "good" goodbyes can be painful. The first "cool" social worker i ever met was back in the 70's; a twenty something, hippie type, who seemed very wise and deep to a college freshman (me). The last day of my field work at his agency i was reminiscing about the clients and i was especially sad to say goodbye to this old navy veteran. Peter remarked, if it doesn't hurt to say goodbye, you've never really said hello." Over the years, i've revisited that statement frequently. Felix and i have moved eight times in the 30 years we've lived together-every move seems harder. i've taught since the early 80's and whenever a group of my"kids" move on i feel sad in a good kind of way. Again this week i'm faced with goodbyes as several of the children in the summer camp program are leaving for one last vacation before school officially starts. i say goodbye to these special people not knowing if i'll ever see them again and i feel sad. The other evening i was with gianna buying books for gianna as she begins her senior year of high school and we ran into the mother of one of my very first students. She told me her son excelled in a well known college prep high school and was beginning college in a few weeks. As we parted ways i felt very sad saying goodbye even though she had praised me to the high heavens. i guess i had said hello to the whole family.